Shattered Darkness
by EroseN
Summary: Tsuzuki and Hisoka are out chasing Muraki, but Tsuzuki inexplicably lets him escape. Hisoka feels something wrong, but can't quite figure it out. Seriously, people, this is rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, just the normal warnings up here... This is yaoi, so don't like, don't read. Otherwise, please enjoy these characters, who I do not own by the way. And feel free to review if you like it, or if you don't like it, or if you're just bored. I'm good for anything!

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"Muraki! Get back here, bastard!" Hisoka ran after the escaping doctor, Tsuzuki following. The two partners rounded a corner and found nothing. Muraki was gone.

"Damn it, Tsuzuki! Why did you let him go?" Hisoka rounded on his partner who cowered under his cold glare. Hisoka sighed. "Sorry, I know you didn't do it on purpose. Let's go back." Tsuzuki nodded, looking down at his feet. They transported back to the office and gathered up their things, ready to go home after a long day in the field.

"Tsuzuki? Do you want to get some dinner? I'll pay." Hisoka offered, shrugging his jacket on and opening the door for his older partner.

"I would love to, but I can't tonight. I already made plans with Watari. You know he doesn't get out of his lab much." Tsuzuki smiled. "Maybe next time. I'll see you around, Hisoka." Tsuzuki walked out in front of the young blonde. Hisoka frowned and walked out the front door, transporting back to his apartment. Something about Tsuzuki was slightly off these days. Hisoka wasn't sure what it was and was hoping it was nothing bad.

Tsuzuki turned back from the stair case that led down to Watari's lab. Once he was sure Hisoka was gone, he walked out front and transported, on his own, to the world of the living. It was dark and as he was walking down a deserted street it began to rain. He came to rest in front of a small two story building, standing at the front door, debating whether or not to knock. A light came on downstairs and Tsuzuki lost his nerve, turning around and beginning to walk back down the street. The door opened and Tsuzuki walked a little faster. Unfortunately before he got far he heard running footsteps and felt arms encircle him.

"Now now, Mr. Tsuzuki. If I didn't know better I would think you wanted to see me." Tsuzuki was picked up and carried into the building. The familiar sight of a waiting room and stainless steel tables in the back no longer scared Tsuzuki. He felt himself being carried up the stairs and found himself in a comfortable living room, a fire burning in the grate. His captor set him down and Tsuzuki turned for the first time to gaze into two metallic silver eyes, long platinum blonde hair shading one side of his face.

"Hello, my love. How nice to see you today. Did you do anything interesting at work since I last saw you?" Muraki asked, motioning for Tsuzuki to sit at a table set for two.

"You have to stop murdering those innocent people! They have nothing to do with this." Muraki set a large plate of pasta in front of Tsuzuki and smiled.

"You know I do it all for you. Don't try to change this arrangement of ours. Besides, I know you're attracted to my dark side." Muraki smirked.

"I'm here on business, Muraki. Don't mess with me." Tsuzuki took a bite of his dinner and couldn't help closing his eyes in ecstasy.

"You say that, yet I know for a fact you haven't spent a single night on your own this past week." Tsuzuki blushed and finished his plate, refusing to look at Muraki.

"Well, I guess I'll be leaving now. Stop doing… bad things." Tsuzuki finished lamely. He stood up and attempted to walk out the door. He heard Muraki give a dark laugh behind him.

"All right, Mr. Tsuzuki. I shall play along with your games for a little longer." He stood up and closed the door before Tsuzuki could reach it, slamming his palm against the wooden frame, trapping Tsuzuki inside his arm.

"You're so cute when you resist me. Do continue." Muraki slipped an arm around Tsuzuki's waist, pulling him in for a tight hug. Tsuzuki melted in his arms, folding in and leaning his head back onto Muraki's shoulder.

"Come, my love. You can escape later. But for now, you are all mine." Muraki pulled Tsuzuki down a hallway and into a small bedroom. Seeing the bed, Tsuzuki got up his nerve again and tried to stand up and make a go for the door. Muraki saw this coming, however, and stopped him, pushing the slightly frantic shinigami down onto the bed.

"Do we really have to go through this every time you come to see me? Wouldn't it just be easier to give in? No? Well then, not to worry. No one can say you didn't try. You can just say I was so strong that I overpowered you." He smirked. Tsuzuki gave a slight whimper as Muraki climbed onto the bed on top of him.

Muraki reached to the bedside table and pulled out a rope, showing it to Tsuzuki and smiling sadistically. Tsuzuki tried to hide his already rope burned wrists but to no avail. Muraki pulled his arms above his dark hair and wrapped the rope around them with a strange gentleness. He tied the restraint tightly and leaned down to press his lips to Tsuzuki's for the first time that night.

"Mm… you taste good, my sweet." Muraki said, releasing Tsuzuki's lips and pulling back for a moment, ignoring the thin trail of saliva still connecting them. Tsuzuki was about to answer when Muraki leaned down again and forced his tongue back inside Tsuzuki's mouth, running it over his teeth and mingling their tongues together. Muraki moved his mouth to whisper in Tsuzuki's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Hm, Mr. Tsuzuki… it almost seems as if you're enjoying this. Am I correct to assume that you like being touched… here?" Muraki's hand had found its way under his shirt and up to Tsuzuki's nipple and proceeded to fondle it harshly.

"Ah, no, don't touch there!" Tsuzuki gasped, trying to breath normally. Muraki laughed, a low, dark, sexy laugh that had Tsuzuki dazed for a moment. That only the doctor's voice had the power to do that to him both scared and excited Tsuzuki.

"Didn't we agree we weren't going to pretend to be something we're not to each other? Stop trying to hide your attraction to me, Mr. Tsuzuki. I can tell, especially if I do this…" Muraki moved his mouth down to Tsuzuki's other nipple, licking it before giving a hard bite to the tip. Tsuzuki squirmed and whimpered again.

"You must stop making those adorable sounds. It only makes me want to ravish you even more." Muraki trailed his mouth down Tsuzuki's torso, biting, licking, and kissing lower and lower. His fingers undid the button to Tsuzuki's pants, sliding them off and throwing them to the ground. Once again, he pulled back to enjoy the sight of his beautiful, if somewhat reluctant, lover. He was laying on the bed with his eyes closed, a blush staining his smooth cheeks, a light sheen of sweat already beginning to appear. With his white dress shirt bunched near his neck and hands tied above his head, Tsuzuki looked helpless and alluring at the same time. He opened his eyes, revealing a hazy violet staring up in confusion.

"Is something wrong? Why did you stop?" Muraki shook his head. Tsuzuki continued to puzzle him. He would say one thing then turn around and say the complete opposite. That was one of the reasons Muraki was so obsessed with him. He bent low, kissing Tsuzuki again, surprising the man below him. His long slim fingers gently rubbed the hard bump in Tsuzuki's silk boxers, eliciting a low moan from Tsuzuki. Muraki unbuttoned his own white pants, slipping them off where they joined the growing pile of fabric on the floor. He rubbed his own erection against Tsuzuki's, the smaller man arching his back to become closer. Muraki had had enough when Tsuzuki bucked his hips up, creating almost unbearable friction between the two of them. Muraki slipped Tsuzuki's underwear off, finally bearing him, and gave the underside of his cock a quick lick. Tsuzuki panted and Muraki continued, biting the tip and taking it into his mouth once, sucking in as much as he could.

"Muraki- I- I'm going to…" Tsuzuki barely managed to get out, but then Muraki stopped. He looked up at Tsuzuki, smirking.

"Sorry, my love. What was that? I couldn't hear you." Tsuzuki moaned at the discomfort of waiting.

"Muraki… please?" Tsuzuki pleaded. He was obviously so far gone from reality, his eyes hazy with need.

Muraki instead offered Tsuzuki three fingers to suck on. He did as he was told and covered them, moving his tongue around and getting them nice and wet. Muraki took one of those fingers and slid it into Tsuzuki's hot opening. Tsuzuki mewled like a kitten as Muraki stuck another one in, plunging in and out in preparation. After a third was squeezed in, Muraki stopped and pulled them out.

Tsuzuki tensed up as if in preparation for what came next. Muraki removed his underwear as well and slid into Tsuzuki, going slowly at first but coming back out and plunging in again. They picked up speed, Tsuzuki raising his hips to meet Muraki.

"Muraki! I-" Tsuzuki threw his head back and shuddered as he came, splattering the two of them with his hot sticky semen. Seeing that, Muraki was nearing his peak. After one more savage shove, Muraki came as well, his seed filling up Tsuzuki as the doctor collapsed on top.

"Muraki… I was-" Tsuzuki started to say something, but was cut off by a quick kiss.

"Isn't it time you started calling me by my first name, Asato?" Tsuzuki shivered, hearing his name voiced by Muraki.

"Um… Kazutaka? What is it about you that draws me in? I don't understand why I'm so weak all the time!" Tsuzuki was getting worked up, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. Muraki took a thumb and wiped his eyes clear before reaching up to untie his bonds.

"You don't know yet? It's your dark side manifesting itself. We both come from darkness, so it's only natural to be infatuated with the other." Tsuzuki rubbed his wrists together, noticing that Muraki had somehow gotten his watch off without him noticing.

"Where's my watch? I need it!" Tsuzuki looked frantically around, but Muraki stopped him, grabbing his right wrist and kissing the old scars there.

"I think they're beautiful, Asato. They are a part of you, are they not? They make an enchanting pattern mixed with your rope burns." Tsuzuki blushed, beginning to regain the sense of wrongness for the situation. Tsuzuki closed his eyes, trying to hide his embarrassment at what he had just done. Muraki laughed at him, seeing right through his pretenses, but allowed him to sleep, rolling off of him to rest next to him, their hands entwined under the covers.


	2. Chapter 2

Happy 4th of July every one! Please enjoy!

"Asato, wake up. You need to leave now unless you want to meet my… patients." Tsuzuki opened his eyes to see a freshly showered Muraki bent over him, whispering in his ear. Tsuzuki groaned at the new day and sat up, stretching.

"Ow… I think you overdid it. My hips ache, Muraki." Muraki glared at him and Tsuzuki realized his mistake. "I mean Kazutaka." The name still sounded odd on Tsuzuki's lips. Muraki simply gave a blinding smile and left the room after a quick kiss. Tsuzuki got up and went to shower, helping himself to Muraki's bathroom.

A few minutes later, Tsuzuki was looking at his clothes and realized he would need to go home and change first. He transported out of the house and ended up in front of his building. He dashed up the stairs, realizing he was late, nodding politely to his elderly landlords who just laughed. He was stopped on the way out by one of the old men.

"Tsuzuki, take care of your garden. The flowers are all dying. I only let you keep that because you take such good care of it, but you're never home lately." Tsuzuki gave a quick apology and a promise to do better then hurried out of the building, transporting to the office, only a few minutes late. He stuck his head around the corner, looking to see if the coast was clear. He didn't see Tatsumi anywhere, so he ducked into his office, preparing a big smile for Hisoka. Unfortunately, as Tsuzuki found out, Tatsumi was seated in Tsuzuki's chair, scowling down at the huge pile of unfinished paperwork he had yet to even look at. Tsuzuki tried to back slowly out of the office and was almost free when Tatsumi called him over, not even looking up.

"Tsuzuki. What is this? Didn't you tell me two days ago that you finished all of your work so you could leave early. Were you aware of this stack, or did you temporarily go blind?" Tsuzuki shivered at the icy glare coming from his old partner.

"I'msorryTatsumiI''thurtme!" Tsuzuki cried out, talking extremely fast and tripping over himself to get to the desk. Tatsumi smiled and stood up, pretending to dust off his hands. He nodded to Hisoka, who had been sitting at his desk watching the proceedings with slight amusement on his face, and walked out.

"So, did you have fun last night?" Hisoka asked casually, flipping through a new book from the library. Tsuzuki looked up, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Um… Last night? I, yeah, I did… Wh- why?" Hisoka looked at him like he was insane.

"I was just wondering if you and Watari did something fun or just went out to eat. Yikes, calm down." Hisoka shook his head at his partner's strange reaction. Tsuzuki remembered his lie to Hisoka the night before and relaxed.

"Yeah, we went out for drinks, but it's likely Watari won't remember much… he challenged me to a contest and lost, badly. So don't bring it up with him, ok?" Tsuzuki took out his favorite pen and began to work on his paperwork, creating an alibi with his words to Hisoka. Hisoka nodded and ignored his partner's strange behavior.

"Tsuzuki? Do you need anything? I'm taking my paperwork to Tatsumi, I can take anything you're finished with." Hisoka asked a few hours later. Tsuzuki smiled and pushed a few papers to the corner of his desk.

"That's all? You are the worst worker ever." Hisoka grabbed the papers and added them to his stack. Tsuzuki smiled sheepishly up at him and Hisoka walked out the door, trying not to smile back at his friend.

"Oh, thanks, Kurosaki-kun. You can just leave those over there. Say, could you take this down to Watari-san for me? He asked for this file but I keep forgetting to take it to him." Tatsumi held out a folder and Hisoka nodded. He had nothing better to do, after all. He took the file and walked down the stairs to Watari's lab.

He knocked on the door and called out, "Watari-san? Are you there?" He heard a loud crash and some swearing before the door opened to reveal a very disgruntled scientist. His hair was a mess falling out of a long braid in the back and even his owl was keeping her distance, sitting on top of a bookshelf in the back.

"Oh, hey there, Hisoka! Come in, come in!" Watari opened the door all the way and Hisoka carefully stepped in, trying his best not to knock anything over. The lab was a mess, papers and strange devices cluttering every available surface, even the floor. The only place that was clean was his chemistry table. Everything was lined up and clean.

"I see you've been busy, huh? Tatsumi told me to give this to you." Hisoka handed Watari the file. The scientist looked at it for a moment then set it in one of the many piles on his desk.

"Thanks. Hey, could you hold this for a second?" Watari handed Hisoka a vial of blue liquid and reached for two other tubes.

"Okay, keep still. I'm going to mix all of these together, so be ready." Hisoka opened his mouth to protest, but Watari quickly poured the liquids together and took the smoking tube from Hisoka.

"Ah ha! I did it! Perfect!" He poured a little into a beaker and stuck it in the fridge. Hisoka sighed and was about to leave when Watari called him back.

"Hisoka! Don't go, it's so lonely down here! No one ever comes to visit. I wonder why?" Watari took a stack of papers off of one of the stools and patted it for Hisoka to sit down.

"Didn't you and Tsuzuki go out last night?" Hisoka asked as he sat, trying to avoid the bowl of sharp objects in front of him.

"Hm? No, I've been here since yesterday. Actually, I haven't seen Tsuzuki in a while. He used to visit me a lot, now I actually have to go find him if I want something. It's horrible!" He set a cup of tea down in front of Hisoka who looked at it warily.

"What's in this?" Hisoka took a sniff and decided it was safe to drink. It was just normal green tea, but you could never tell with Watari.

"Hold on, Tsuzuki wasn't with you last night? Are you sure? He said you two went out for drinks…" Watari looked at him like he was crazy.

"You think I can leave my lab like this? Tatsumi would kill me if I set something on fire again. Maybe you heard him wrong. You don't think he purposely lied to you, do you?" Hisoka shrugged.

"Well, thanks anyways. I'll see you around." Hisoka left before Watari could find something else for him to do. He wondered what Tsuzuki could have been doing that he couldn't tell Hisoka about. He wandered around for a bit before finding his way back to the office. Tsuzuki was passed out on top of his papers, his jacket on the back of his chair. The man had no sense of work ethic. Hisoka walked up to him and was about to poke him awake when he noticed red markings on Tsuzuki's wrist. He looked closer and saw that they were rope burns. He reached out to touch them. The moment he made contact, emotions flooded his body. Fear, hate, love, embarrassment, pleasure, pain, secrecy, guilt, all of them overlaid by the feeling of inner conflict. Hisoka quickly let go. Something was wrong with Tsuzuki.

He stirred, opening violet eyes and yawning.

"Oh, hi Hisoka! Is something wrong?" Tsuzuki looked concerned. Hisoka shook himself and smiled.

"No, of course not. But you need do your work." Tsuzuki sulked but started back on his work. Even though Hisoka had felt all those emotions coming off of him, Tsuzuki still seemed happy.

"Ne, Tsuzuki? I have two tickets to that movie you wanted to see. I was going to take Wakaba, but she can't go now. Do you want to come?" Hisoka tried to come up with something to find out what Tsuzuki was doing at night.

"Ah, what movie?" Hisoka thought back. What was the movie in the theaters right now?

"You know, the comedy with the explorer and the panda? I don't remember the name right now." Tsuzuki looked up at him.

"Oh, sorry, Hisoka. I already saw that one. Maybe next time." He looked back down at his papers.

"Okay. That's fine." Hisoka stood up. "I'm going home early. I don't have anything else to do. See you tomorrow." Hisoka trudged out before Tsuzuki could respond.

_Tonight, I'll stay home. I'll go straight home after work. Actually, I'll just leave now._ Tsuzuki thought to himself as he cleaned off his desk. He walked out of the office and headed towards his apartment, not seeing Hisoka detach himself from a wall and begin to trail him. Hisoka followed from a distance, making sure Tsuzuki couldn't see him. It seemed like he was just going home.

Tsuzuki walked amiably along the empty road, humming tunelessly under his breath. It was dark now and he was feeling restless. He was walking past a small café when he saw someone out of the corner of his eye. Someone dressed all in white, looking out of place at the table in the window. He smiled at Tsuzuki, who kept walking and ignored him. A few moments later, Tsuzuki heard the bell over the shop door ring as it opened, letting the doctor out onto the street. Tsuzuki refused to look back at him, even when Muraki lengthened his strides to catch up to him.

"Asato, where do you think you're going?" Muraki breathed into Tsuzuki's ear. Tsuzuki ignored him and kept walking. Muraki laughed, enjoying the game. He put an arm around Tsuzuki, leaning down to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Hisoka, who saw this exchange from a distance, was watching in horror. Yes, Tsuzuki wasn't giving in, but he wasn't exactly fighting back either. He saw Muraki forcibly tug Tsuzuki off of the main road and down a smaller side street. Hisoka rounded the corner just to see the pair teleport away.

Hisoka stood there in shock. The man that he trusted above all others and the man whom he loathed and feared the most were… together? That was the question, what was their relationship? That kiss Muraki had given Tsuzuki, what did it mean? Hisoka started walking, meaning to go home but instead finding himself in front of Tsuzuki's apartment.

He reached for the spare key that was always on top of the doorway and let himself in. He didn't know what he had been hoping for, but his spirits sank when he saw the deserted rooms. He walked back to Tsuzuki's bedroom, not turning on any lights. The light from the street lamp outside was enough, and Hisoka didn't want anyone to know he was there. He saw the bed, neatly made, looking as if it had been vacant for quite some time. Hisoka leaned in close to smell the pillows. Tsuzuki's scent was there, if faint, and Hisoka laid down, careful not to disturb the covers or anything.

How could Tsuzuki be such an idiot? Without realizing it, Hisoka began to cry, silent tears dripping down his face to be absorbed by the pillow. He closed his eyes, intending to relax for a bit, but ended up falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I just want to leave another warning... if you have any sanity left, you might not want to read this story. Erm, well, thanks for all the great reviews! They really mean a lot, so keep 'em coming. Please enjoy.

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"Muraki, let me go! I just want to go home tonight. I have things I need to take care of." Tsuzuki ducked out from under Muraki's restraining arm and turned away, intending to teleport back to his apartment. Muraki wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki from behind and whispered to him.

"Ok, let's go. You do what you need to, then you're mine." He trailed his fingers up Tsuzuki's shirt to play with one of his nipples, rubbing it and breathing in his ear. Tsuzuki gave a little moan then mentally shook himself. Instead of saying another word, he transported them to his apartment, banging around in the hallway before finding his key and letting himself in, Muraki following.

Hisoka's eyes flew open when he heard noise coming from the front rooms. He looked around for an exit but saw none except going out the front. He heard voices and footsteps coming back towards him and panicked, smoothing the blankets as they had been and diving under the bed just in time.

The light switched on and Hisoka heard a cold, smooth voice say, "What a charming room you have, Asato." Hisoka shuddered at the intimacy of the first name basis between the two men.

"Oh, thanks. Just let me grab a change of clothes and we can leave for-" Tsuzuki's words were cut off and Hisoka heard and thump as two bodies collided on the bed.

"Mm, Asato. I think I want to stay here tonight. What do you say?" Hisoka heard Muraki murmur. Tsuzuki was probably going to respond but Muraki did something to make him gasp in pleasure instead. Hisoka knew this was wrong. It was wrong on so many levels, but he didn't see any other options other than waiting it out. He knew what that meant. He closed his eyes and kept still, doing his best to tune out the emotions flowing above him.

"Kazutaka… Kazutaka… Kazutaka…" Tsuzuki was calling out for Muraki and every word was like a knife being driven into Hisoka's flesh. He heard a dark laugh that was Muraki's reply and Tsuzuki's quick gasp and moan. Despite Muraki being above him, Hisoka felt himself get hard listening to Tsuzuki's cries. The pleasure radiating off of the two men didn't help either. Hisoka felt sick at himself, at his body's reaction to something so wrong.

He lay there, listening to the sounds of their lovemaking and hating Muraki more and more every time he made Tsuzuki cry out. When they had been quiet for quite some time, Hisoka cautiously stuck his head out. Muraki and Tsuzuki were asleep on the bed and Hisoka quietly tiptoed out of the room. Before he shut the door, he looked back to check on his partner.

He froze. Two silver eyes were gleaming in the darkness, and Hisoka saw a smile flit across the face of the doctor before he closed his eyes again. Hisoka rushed out of the room and teleported to his apartment.

Had Muraki seen him? Why hadn't he said anything? Was he just playing games again? Questions floated around in Hisoka's mind as he undressed and crawled into bed. He tossed and turned all night, barely getting any sleep, so he was exhausted in the morning. He took a shower and got dressed, ignoring the bags under his eyes and leaving for work.

When he got there, Tsuzuki was absent, which was not out of the ordinary, but Hisoka couldn't help picturing what he and Muraki were doing. Hisoka didn't know who he could tell with this information. He didn't want to betray Tsuzuki, but he needed to be stopped.

When Tsuzuki finally arrived at the office, Hisoka didn't know how to act. His partner came in with his usual over excited smile and a greeting followed by a crash as he ran into his desk.

"Did you see that movie last night? I'm sorry I couldn't go, I had some things to do around the house." A dreamy expression crossed his face that normally Hisoka would have taken as his spacy-ness, but he knew Tsuzuki was probably thinking about Muraki.

"Hisoka? Is everything okay?" Hisoka looked up. Somehow, the fact that Tsuzuki was lying so easily to him hurt more than being taunted would.

"Yes. I'm fine." Hisoka said curtly, standing up and walking out the door. He heard Tsuzuki call his name, but didn't stop, just continued outside. He transported to the world of the living almost without thinking about it and walked around the shopping district. It was pretty crowded, and he found himself instinctively finding the less populated streets. As he passed in front of a small two story building, a door opened and someone came hurrying out, ramming into Hisoka's shoulder and nearly knocking him over.

"Hey, watch it!" Hisoka called after his retreating back. The man ignored him, but Hisoka heard a laugh from the doorway behind him. He slowly turned around, recognizing the sound but not wanting to believe it. Muraki was standing in the door, leaning to one side and smiling.

"Hello there, Hisoka! Pleasant day isn't it. Why don't you come inside?" Muraki pushed the door open all the way and Hisoka walked forward. Muraki led him upstairs and sat him down at a table, offering tea that Hisoka refused.

"So, what brings you here? Can I help you with something?" Muraki asked pleasantly, sitting opposite him and resting his cheek on his palm.

"What are you doing to Tsuzuki? Why keep him against his will? What do you get from it?" Hisoka quickly asked, realizing he had spoken too soon when Muraki laughed at him.

"Against his will? Yes, he does like to pretend, doesn't he? But, as I'm sure you heard last night, he doesn't really hate it so much." He flipped his hair out of his face and his metallic eye glinted evilly.

"Just leave him alone! He doesn't need you!" Hisoka shouted.

"And I suppose you think he needs you? Is that what this is about?" Muraki took off his glasses and set them carefully on the table, folding his hands together and staring at Hisoka.

"I don't know what you want! What can I do to make you let Tsuzuki go?" Hisoka felt tears of desperation come to his eyes, but didn't give in. Muraki would not make him cry. The doctor seemed to think about that for a while, then smirked.

"Well, if I give up Tsuzuki, I'll need something in return, something to… satisfy my needs. If you really love him, why don't you switch places with him?" Hisoka's eyes widened.

"Me? Yeah right! You know what, go fuck yourself." He stood up and headed for the door.

"Hm, poor Tsuzuki. I guess I'll just call him right now and invite him over. I have some new toys I want to test on him…" Muraki pulled a phone out of his jacket pocket and flipped it open. Hisoka grit his teeth.

"No, stop. What would I have to do?" Muraki beckoned Hisoka closer and the boy obliged.

"I am going to call Tsuzuki right now. What you do will decide what I say to him. Go ahead, begin." Muraki flipped open his phone and Hisoka stood there frozen. What did Muraki mean by that? Hisoka leaned down, meaning to look in Muraki's face and see some clarification, but instead Muraki grabbed his head with one hand and pulled him in for a kiss, shoving his tongue inside Hisoka's mouth while the phone was ringing. Hisoka pulled away in surprise and disgust. Muraki shrugged and smiled when the phone was answered.

"Hello?" Hisoka heard his partner's voice answer. Muraki raised his eyebrows questioningly at Hisoka.

"Hello, my dearest Asato. I was calling to check in on you. How are you?" Hisoka couldn't see any other way to stop Muraki, so he slowly walked forward, straddling the doctor's lap and surprising him. He leaned down and licked Muraki's ear, causing him to tense up and then smile.

"I'm fine. Um, I shouldn't be talking to you at work, Hisoka could come back at any time…" Muraki smiled evilly down at Hisoka.

"So, about tonight…" Muraki started. Hisoka reached his hand down and rubbed between Muraki's legs, getting a little bump out of the doctor. Muraki raised an eyebrow and continued speaking.

"I was thinking, what plans do you have?" Hisoka didn't know what else he could do, but suddenly Muraki put a fist in his hair and shoved his head lower until his face was next to the doctor's crotch. Hisoka glared up at him and Muraki shrugged as if saying it was up to him. Hisoka unbuttoned Muraki's pants and pulled them and the underwear off, Muraki lifting his hips to assist. Hisoka tentatively reached out a hand to touch Muraki's half erect cock, stroking it lightly. Muraki still had a hand in his hair and forced his face closer. Hisoka, realizing what he wanted, opened his mouth and licked it. His cock hardened and Hisoka took the tip into his mouth, playing with the little slit at the top.

He hated the feeling and the taste, but when he tried to stop, Muraki cut off Tsuzuki's mindless chatter and said, "I think you should come over here tonight. We can have some fun…" Hisoka once again took Muraki into his mouth, sucking and trying his best to pleasure the sadistic doctor. Muraki seemed to be enjoying it, but hadn't said anything to discourage Tsuzuki yet. Hisoka used his hand and pumped down the length of his erection while swirling his tongue around the top, bobbing in and out.

"Hm, actually, Asato, I think you should be alone tonight. I think I'm getting a little tired of you. See you around, maybe." Muraki hung up the phone. Hisoka gladly let go of him, but Muraki chuckled.

"You don't think that's it, do you?" Hisoka still had his mouth on Muraki, but opened his lips to say something. Muraki pulled his face closer to his hips, forcing him to take nearly all of his enlarged cock into his mouth. Hisoka gagged, but Muraki just smiled, moving Hisoka's head like a puppet master.

"I'm going to cum now, so you better swallow all of it." Muraki thrust his hips upward, hitting the back of Hisoka's throat and filling it with hot white semen. Hisoka was tempted to spit it out, but he swallowed it all, choking a little and gagging.

"There's a good boy. You may go now. But be here tonight at eight, or I'll call Mr. Tsuzuki and have him come. You know how obsessed he is with me… can't even sleep alone at night." Muraki laughed again, an evil and insane laugh, and Hisoka stood up, wiping his mouth and turning away out the door.

When he got out on the street, he kicked the mailbox, denting it and possibly breaking his toe. He was glad for the healing powers of shinigami when he felt the pain lessen. What was he doing? This could only end badly, but he couldn't think of another option. Hisoka looked back once at the building and saw Muraki in the top window. The doctor smiled and waved and Hisoka scowled and walked away. It was only two in the afternoon, so Hisoka decided to go back to work, hoping he wouldn't have to deal with Tsuzuki right away. Unfortunately, when he got there, Tsuzuki was moping around his desk, sighing loudly. Hisoka ignored him and sat down at his own desk leafing through some extra papers left there from yesterday.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait everyone! My computer broke, so I have to use the family one to post... shivers. Thanks for all the reviews, as usual. I just want to say, Muraki really needs to learn to mind his own business and stop bothering others... but that wouldn't make for a good story, now would it?

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"Hisoka… what do you do if someone you like says they don't want to see you anymore?" Tsuzuki had wandered over to Hisoka's desk and sat on the edge of it.

"I mean, I guess it's kind of good that they said we shouldn't see each other anymore, but why am I feeling this way? Hisoka, what should I do?" Tsuzuki picked up Hisoka's hand and turned it over, tracing the blue veins on his wrist. Hisoka snatched it away.

"Stop complaining. Just leave me alone." Tsuzuki looked hurt but he stood up and sauntered back to his desk. After a few hours of unbearable tension on Hisoka's part, Tsuzuki seemed to have forgotten all about earlier. He stood up and bounced over to Hisoka smiling down at him.

"So, Hisoka, is that dinner offer still good? You want to grab some food?" Tsuzuki questioned. Hisoka looked at his watch. It was only five, so he thought he could probably make it in time to get to Muraki by eight.

"Sure. But you're paying because you turned me down last time. Let's go now, okay?" Hisoka stood up. Tsuzuki looked surprised but happy at the same time.

"Okay! But I get to choose the restaurant." Tsuzuki happily followed Hisoka out of the office, the two of them walking side by side. Tsuzuki chose a little family restaurant not too far away and they ordered their food, Tsuzuki chattering as usual and Hisoka nodding and not really paying attention.

"So, do you have plans for later? Maybe we could catch a movie or something. What do you say?" Tsuzuki asked, slurping up the last bit of soup in his huge bowl.

"Sorry, I do have something I need to do at my house." He said, feeling a little ironic to be using Tsuzuki's lame excuse from the night before. "I'll take a rain check though. Maybe some other time. Actually, would you mind if I skip out a little early tonight? I really need to get home." Hisoka stood quickly and Tsuzuki frowned but quickly covered it up.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll pay, so don't worry about it. See you tomorrow." He waved at Hisoka's back as he walked through the door. Then he slumped back over at the table. Yet another person abandoning him. Why was he so easy to turn down? He ordered a drink and settled in for a few hours of the comfort of alcohol.

Hisoka hurried out of the restaurant. The fact that Tsuzuki was so obviously using him as a rebound just pissed him off. He came to rest in front of Muraki's building. He was right on time and walked up to ring the doorbell. The door opened to reveal Muraki smiling down at him, a glass of wine in hand.

"How nice to see you, Hisoka! Come in, come in." Hisoka folded his arms across his chest and entered, jumping when Muraki pinched his ass. He refused to say anything and walked forward.

"Now now, Hisoka. That's not how you greet me, is it? Come here." Hisoka turned around to find Muraki's face uncomfortably close to his own. The doctor leaned in and gave a quick, chaste kiss on Hisoka's cheek that made the boy shiver.

"What do you want? I'm here, so let's get this over with." Hisoka leaned against a wall looking at the floor. Muraki sighed.

"You're really no fun. Fine, if you insist, why don't we head up to the bedroom? I'll give you a few minutes to prepare yourself." Muraki took Hisoka by the arm and walked him up the stairs, depositing him in the bedroom.

"I'll be back in a few minutes; there are just some things I need to get." Muraki closed the door and Hisoka sat on a chair in the corner, wrapping his arms around his knees. What was he about to do? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was all for Tsuzuki, think of Tsuzuki. Hisoka shook himself and kept breathing. Suddenly, the door opened and Muraki walked in carrying a bag and a tea tray. Hisoka eyed it warily but Muraki just laughed.

"Don't worry, that's just for if things get a little out of hand… I'll let you decide how we handle this." Muraki motioned for Hisoka to stand up and handed him a cup of tea.

"Go ahead, drink up. I promise it's fine." Hisoka took a sip of it, testing to see if it was okay. It tasted normal and he quickly drank the rest, trying to calm his racing heart beat.

"That's a good boy. Let me take that from you." Muraki grabbed the mug and set it on a small table. Then he looked back at Hisoka and smiled. He ran a hand through Hisoka's blonde hair, smiling as the boy shivered again.

"You really are a beautiful boy. This might not be so bad. Just try to enjoy it, okay?" He leaned down to kiss Hisoka, walking him backwards until his knees were against the bottom of the bed. Hisoka didn't respond at all. Muraki pushed him down, crawling on top of him to continue his assault. He forced his tongue inside Hisoka's mouth, the boy doing nothing to stop him but also not reciprocating in any way. Muraki pulled Hisoka's orange shirt off and tossed it to the side, taking one long fingered hand and teasing his nipple. Hisoka gasped.

"That feels good, doesn't it? Give in to it; I want you to feel good too." Hisoka tried to shut down again but Muraki moved his mouth to Hisoka's other already hard nipple and sucked at it. Hisoka arched his back involuntarily, his body reacting while his mind was screaming no. Muraki reached a hand down and unbuttoned Hisoka's jeans, pushing them and his boxers down. Muraki fingered Hisoka's cock, causing it to become erect against the boy's wishes.

"You can't really hate this if you're already this hard from just my fingers." Hisoka didn't know what was happening to his body. He felt weak and hated the fact that Muraki's touches felt so good. Muraki grasped Hisoka's erection, giving a hard pump, the boy bringing his hips up to meet the hand. He moved faster and faster and Hisoka came, panting, after only a little while. Muraki leaned back up to kiss him again, and Hisoka turned his head away. Muraki chuckled into his ear then bit down on the edge of it. His fingers were still messing around below Hisoka's waist, and Hisoka jumped when he felt one finger playing at the edge of his hole. He felt something wet squishing between the doctor's fingers and remembered the bottle he had seen on the bedside table. He panicked, trying to push Muraki away, but his arms wouldn't obey him. They lay limply at his sides, only able to move a little.

"What did you give me? What was in that tea? Muraki, you bastard…" Hisoka trailed off as another finger found its way in.

"I told you it was nothing. Just a little something to help you feel good. Trust me; it will wear off in a few hours. But until then, just enjoy its effects." Hisoka bit his lip as another finger joined the first two, unwilling to make any noise. Muraki moved his hand a little and a spark of pleasure ran up Hisoka's spine. He gasped then quickly snapped his jaw shut, gritting his teeth.

"I found your good spot, didn't I?" Muraki smiled. He pulled his fingers out and Hisoka relaxed, thinking it was over. Muraki took his clean hand and brushed Hisoka's hair back.

"You're such a good boy." Then without warning, he entered Hisoka, lifting Hisoka's legs over his shoulders and holding his hips.

"Ah! That hurts!" Hisoka cried out. Muraki ignored him and pushed further in. Hisoka felt tears come to his eyes and bit the side of his cheek to keep from making any more noise. He tasted blood but didn't let go. Muraki pulled out and plunged back in. He suddenly laughed.

"It seems you don't mind this. Look, you're already hard again." Hisoka scowled, thinking to himself that it was the drug making him like this but refusing to rise to Muraki's bait. Muraki slammed his hips forward, pulling Hisoka to him for the hardest push yet. Hisoka felt his insides stretching, the pain becoming nearly unbearable. He was suddenly transported back to when he was thirteen. The dark sky with the blood red moon imprinted itself on his eyelids, reminding him of all the pain he had received. Muraki entered once more and came inside of Hisoka. Hisoka hated the feeling of something inside of him, of the warm liquid filling him up. Muraki pulled out of him and sat up. Hisoka tried to raise himself up, but his muscles shook and wouldn't support him. He collapsed back onto the pillows. Muraki laughed at him.

"I don't normally do this, but for you, I'll make an exception. Your body is just begging for it." He leaned down and took Hisoka's dick into his mouth, expertly moving his tongue around and creating suction. Hisoka tried to hold it in but came anyway, into Muraki's mouth. The doctor licked it all up, smiling and licking his lips. Hisoka lay there, shaking and hating the reaction his body was having to the drug. He was actually… enjoying this. Muraki stood up. Hisoka closed his eyes again. He felt Muraki lean in and brush the tears off his cheeks.

"I'll let you rest now. I'll see you tomorrow, same time. Goodnight!" He exited the room, gently closing the door behind him. Hisoka felt more tears spring to his eyes. He felt dirty and used and hated Muraki even more now for forcing him to do such things. He felt his eyes get heavy and quickly fell asleep. A few hours later, he woke up and found he could move again. He stood up, legs shaking beneath him, and stumbled out of the room, tripping down the stairs and out the front door. All he could think about was getting far away. He bumped into a man standing outside but didn't stop. He walked down the street and teleported to his house, falling exhausted onto his bed, his muscles feeling like rubber.


	5. Chapter 5

Tsuzuki stood in front of Muraki's house, staring at Hisoka's retreating back as he walked away. He had convinced himself that it would be a good idea to go talk to Muraki, after a few drinks of course. A light came on upstairs and the curtain opened, Muraki's pale face staring out. Tsuzuki stared accusatorially up at him, feeling tears of abandonment and betrayal come to his eyes. Muraki shrugged at him and closed the curtains, the light turning off a few moments later. Tsuzuki didn't have anywhere else to turn. He felt alone. He transported to the only other place he could think of to find comfort: Tatsumi's house. He knocked softly on the door, not wanting to disturb his old partner if he was already asleep. The door opened to reveal Tatsumi bare-chested with sweats on. His hair was wet and his glasses had hastily been shoved back on his face to answer the door.

"Hello? Tsuzuki, what's wrong?" Tsuzuki stood outside, tears streaming down his face. Tatsumi let him in, placing a comforting hand on his back and leading him to the couch. Tatsumi once again tried questioning him, but Tsuzuki just shook his head and continued to cry. Tatsumi gave up and pulled him close, resting Tsuzuki's dark head on his bare shoulders.

"Tatsumi... Why does everyone always leave me? Am I not good enough? Is it because I'm not human?" Tsuzuki had his eyes closed as Tatsumi ran a hand through his soft brown hair.

"You're perfect just the way you are. And please stop saying you're not human. It just doesn't make any sense. It just takes a special kind of person to love you all the way. Don't worry, you'll find them someday."

Tsuzuki sat up, opening his eyes to stare at Tatsumi.

"Do you still love me? How could anyone love...this?" Tsuzuki looked down. Tatsumi hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what the best course of action would be. He took his glasses off and slowly set them on the table. Tsuzuki's eyes filled with tears again as he waited for another rejection, head bowed.

"I- of course I still love you, Tsuzuki. How could I ever stop loving you?" Tatsumi lifted Tsuzuki's face up to look him in the eye.

"But you need to move on. I already told you we can't be together anymore."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened with happiness at belonging somewhere, even if just for a moment. He leaned in and gave Tatsumi a long, slow kiss. Tatsumi pushed him away after coming back to his senses, and Tsuzuki once again felt tears trail down his cheeks.

"Please, Tatsumi. Just for tonight. I need..." But he was cut off by Tatsumi gently pushing him down and kissing the tear tracks away.

"Every time, you manage to make me love you even more, you make me want to protect you. I don't understand."

Tsuzuki gave a watery smile and Tatsumi resumed his kissing, their bodies fitting together perfectly from past memory.

"Come on. Let's not do it here on the couch." He helped Tsuzuki up and held his hand, walking to the bedroom. Tsuzuki gracelessly flopped backwards on the bed, spreading his arms and legs wide, turning his head to smell the sheets and smiling.

"I missed this... Thank you, Tatsumi." Tatsumi smiled at him and lay next to him, turning on his side to gaze at his old lover. He knew this was only for one night, knew that Tsuzuki was probably just trying to forget whatever had happened to him, but was drawn in anyway by his magnetic pleading violet eyes. He leaned closer again, continuing to kiss Tsuzuki, remembering the many nights spent together all those years ago. Tsuzuki seemed even more eager tonight, and his hands kept reaching lower, seeking the old comfort of Tatsumi inside of him. The secretary finally just held Tsuzuki's hands, wanting to take it slowly.

Do you not want me? Tsuzuki eyes seemed to plead. Tatsumi gave in, letting Tsuzuki strip him to reveal how very much he did want him.

Tsuzuki let Tatsumi slowly unbutton his shirt, tracing the lines of his chest and shoulders with light fingers. Tsuzuki shivered in anticipation as Tatsumi's deft fingers found the button on Tsuzuki's pants, releasing it to let Tsuzuki's erection stand out in his boxers. The tip was already wet, and Tatsumi pulled off the final layer of clothing, their hot skin pressed tightly together. Tatsumi didn't make any other moves, happy with just being close; enjoying this non-penetrative sex, but Tsuzuki wasn't ready to give in.

He took Tatsumi's hand and put it in his mouth, getting it nice and wet. Tatsumi knew there was no stopping Tsuzuki from getting what he wanted, so he obliged, taking one finger and teasing at the edge of his quivering hole. Tsuzuki panted, nodding his head as assurance that this was what he wanted. Tatsumi finally placed his finger inside of Tsuzuki, quickly adding another when he realized the older man didn't really need to be prepared anymore. The third followed soon after, and Tsuzuki rolled onto his back, taking Tatsumi with him to sit on top.

"Please seiichirou. Give it to me, I need it. I need you." Tsuzuki whispered.

_No, you don't, not really, but just for tonight, I'll pretend with you,_ Tatsumi thought to himself. He removed his fingers and slowly slid in, his body remembering the feelings he had blocked from his mind. Tsuzuki tightened around him, giving Tatsumi indescribable pleasure. He pushed in further, hitting Tsuzuki's sensitive spot.

"Seiichirou, I'm..." With that exclamation Tsuzuki came all over Tatsumi's chest, covering the both of them with white milky fluid. Tatsumi gave up trying to be careful or gentle, instead giving Tsuzuki exactly what he wanted and setting up a fast rhythm of pulling out and plunging back in. He was nearing his peak and could feel that Tsuzuki was becoming hard again. With one final thrust, he came inside of Tsuzuki, shuddering with the effort.

Tsuzuki followed not long after and both of them lay there, breathing heavily and enjoying being close. Then Tatsumi rolled off of him. Tsuzuki managed to open his eyes, lids heavy with exhaustion, to peer quizzically up at him from the bed. He was about to say something, but Tatsumi gave a sad smile and walked out of the room. Tsuzuki heard the shower turn on in the next room, a sound familiar from his past. Tatsumi had never liked to sleep covered in sweat and fluids. Tsuzuki sighed and rolled over onto his side, settling in and closing his eyes again, ready for sleep to take him.

Tatsumi stood in the shower, hating himself. He had taken advantage of Tsuzuki no matter how you looked at it. The other man had been in a state of need and had come to Tatsumi for comfort, yet he had ended up doing exactly what he had sworn never to do again. He washed himself mechanically, trying not to think.

Why had he done that? He knew Tsuzuki was probably unstable right now, and adding his own feelings to that mess would only make things worse. He would have to apologize to Tsuzuki first thing tomorrow and make clear that their boundaries were still in place, but for the rest of tonight, he could pretend everything was well between the two of them. He turned the hot water off and dried off, stepping out of the shower for the second time that night.

He walked back to his room, smiling when he saw Tsuzuki curled up on his bed. He tenderly covered him with the blankets and then rounded the bed, getting in next to the sleeping man. Tatsumi closed his eyes and tried breathing deeply. Tsuzuki rolled over in his sleep, sensing the heat of another body, and snuggled in close to him. Tatsumi pulled him close to his chest and pressed his face to Tsuzuki's hair, taking a breath, trying to memorize his scent. He felt sleep coming to claim him as well and gave in, his breathing becoming regular as he fell deeper into sleep.

Tatsumi woke to Tsuzuki moaning in his sleep. It was just beginning to turn light out, and he rolled over, covering his eyes with his free arm, the other being around Tsuzuki. It was an hour before his alarm was set to go off, so he allowed himself a few minutes of lying in bed. Tsuzuki began to toss and turn and Tatsumi shook him, trying to wake him up.

"I'm sorry, please, Hisoka, Kazutaka, I'm so sorry..." Tsuzuki cried out. Hearing the names of other men coming from Tsuzuki's lips still hurt, even though Tatsumi had known he was only a replacement. He didn't want to hear anymore, didn't want to know what trouble Tsuzuki had gotten himself into with Muraki and Hisoka.

He quickly rolled out of bed, reaching for his clothes and getting dressed. He walked out of the bedroom, picking up his glasses from the table and placing them on as a final shield. He thought about making breakfast, then stopped, not wanting Tsuzuki to feel awkward. He was ready to go, so he walked back to his bedroom to wake up Tsuzuki. He was sleeping peacefully again, his nightmare having left him. Tatsumi couldn't help himself from giving him a kiss on the forehead. Tsuzuki still didn't wake up, so Tatsumi just decided to let him sleep. He walked outside of his house and transported to the office, arriving early enough not to run into everyone.

The office was empty and he made his way back to his private office. He had so many papers to file. The door to the office opened and Tatsumi froze, hoping it wasn't Tsuzuki but at the same time wanting to see him. He turned around slowly. Watari waved at him on his way to get coffee. Tatsumi smiled and went to join the scientist, keeping a careful eye on him as he reached for the coffee pot. The last time the scientist had been left alone with the coffee pot had ended in an explosion.

"Hi, Tatsumi! You'll never believe what happened! You know that knew piece of equipment I wanted, well I finally succeeded in building it myself. I mean, it kind of took a lot of duct tape, but it works! It's so exciting, because now I can accelerate particles in between here and the world of the living. I bet I'll make a huge discovery!" Watari was talking super fast, barely stopping to breathe in between sentences. Tatsumi looked closer at the scientist's face, noting the dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you been here all night? I told you, you need to go home to sleep. It's not safe to be in that lab all the time." Watari looked away sheepishly, but then his eyes widened with a thought.

"I know, with just a little extra funding, I could build a loft! That way I could sleep there all the time! What do you say, Tatsumi? Wanna help me out?" Tatsumi sighed.

"You really want to sleep above all your experiments? You do realize that poisonous gasses rise, right?" Watari shrugged, ignoring this minor detail. Tatsumi shook his head, realizing that now was not the best time to talk sense into Watari. They said their goodbyes, Watari making Tatsumi promise to come visit him more often. He bounced off leaving Tatsumi slightly dazed.

The office slowly began filling up, Terazuma tearing through complaining about something, Wakaba trying to calm him down. At ten, everyone was in except for Tsuzuki and Hisoka. Tatsumi began to worry, not for Tsuzuki who was always late, but for his younger partner. Hisoka always showed up on time for work. Tsuzuki finally stumbled in around 11 apologizing crazily. Tatsumi called him to his office.

"I'm so sorry Tatsumi! I didn't realize what time it was, and then I had to take a shower, and then I had to go home to get changed and then I had to eat, so please forgive me!" Tsuzuki ran out of breath, panting as he finished his apology. Tatsumi waved it away.

"If I wanted you here on time, I would have woken you up when I left. I just wanted to talk to you." He paused for a moment, trying to word this delicately.

"I'm sorry, Tsuzuki. I can't believe I did that to you. I should have said no. I know you don't really want me anymore. Please, don't get the wrong idea. We are not together anymore." Tsuzuki looked at him sadly.

"I don't understand. I thought you... I mean we... Ok, well, I guess if that's what you want..." He hung his head. Tatsumi nodded.

"Oh, and have you seen Kurosaki anywhere? He hasn't been in yet today and I don't know where he could have gotten off to. He hasn't even called in sick." Tsuzuki looked up in surprise.

"He's not here? Have you called his house yet?" Tatsumi shook his head.

"I thought you could do it. He is your partner after all. If he doesn't answer, go check on him. I'm worried something might have happened." Tsuzuki frowned.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Hisoka probably wants to be left alone." Tatsumi looked at him in surprise.

"What happened between you two? Is something wrong?" Tsuzuki looked wary.

"Nothing really. He just surprised me. I didn't think he was that kind of person." Tatsumi was taken aback at the venom in his voice.

"Tsuzuki, I'm sure that whatever he did isn't as bad as you think. Look at it this way. Hisoka is just looking out for you, so if he ate the last piece of cake or something, it was probably so you wouldn't get a cavity. Just apologize or forgive him or whatever needs to be done. But give him a call and make sure he's all right." Tsuzuki stood there, pondering Tatsumi's words.

No matter how he looked at it, it still seemed as if Hisoka was the reason Muraki no longer wanted him. But he was a little worried. He remembered the expression on Hisoka's face last night. It had been bleak and hurt, unfocused on the world around him. It hadn't seemed as if he was gloating or anything. Tsuzuki decided to give him a call and see what was wrong. He thanked Tatsumi and walked out of the office to find his phone.

Tatsumi watched him go, hating the fact that he couldn't hold onto the man he loved. The best he could do was try to make him happy. He returned to his paperwork, pushing his feelings into the back of his head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Gomen Nasai Gomen Nasai! I am so sorry this took so long! Feel free to bother me if I ever do this again, it took one of my friend's endless pestering for me to write it. Yes, so, please enjoy!**

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Hisoka lay in his bed, unwilling to move. His phone started ringing, but he ignored it, not caring enough to answer it. The noise wouldn't stop though, so he turned his phone off. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. He rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He could still feel the phantom touches of Muraki on his body. He hated it. Remembering last night made him shudder. His entire body ached and his head felt heavy. What seemed like only a few moments later but could have been hours, Hisoka heard a knock on his door. He didn't get up but turned on his side and covered his face with a pillow. Hopefully, the person would think him not home and go away. The knocking stopped and Hisoka relaxed. Then he heard someone crashing around in his kitchen.

"Hisoka, anyone there?" Hisoka heard his partner knock something over and give a small yelp. Hisoka knew that Tsuzuki wouldn't leave until he got an answer, so he took a breath and called out to him.

"I'm fine, Tsuzuki. I just have a cold. Go back to work." Hisoka was surprised at how weak his voice sounded. Maybe he really was coming down with something. Hisoka heard heavy footsteps plodding towards his bedroom and pulled the covers up to his chin, hiding the bite marks Muraki had left on his chest and neck. Tsuzuki walked into the room, a wary expression on his face.

"I told you I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself." Hisoka's voice wavered a bit and he closed his eyes. Tsuzuki ignored him and crossed the room to the windows at the foot of Hisoka's bed. The curtains were closed, letting in almost no light. With a big flourish, Tsuzuki pulled them back, letting the sunlight come streaming in.

"Ah! Please put those back! Tsuzuki, my head…" Hisoka moaned as the light hit his eyes, burning what felt like a giant hole into his head.

"You're fine. Just get up already." For the first time, Hisoka sensed a little venom in Tsuzuki's voice. He looked at Tsuzuki's face, confused.

"Um, Tsuzuki? Did I do something wrong? Are you… mad at me?" Hisoka thought there was only one thing that could make Tsuzuki act like this, but had no idea how Tsuzuki had found out about him and Muraki.

"Oh, nothing. I'm sure you were just trying to save me from a cavity or something." He sounded like he was mocking someone, though Hisoka had no idea who it was. Hisoka sat up, forgetting about the marks on his body, so that he could face Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki's eyes widened at Hisoka's skin, instantly filling with hurt. Hisoka scrambled for the blankets, but it was too late. Tsuzuki ran out of the house sniffling.

Hisoka watched him go with dread. Everything he had done had been for Tsuzuki, but he had just ended up hurting him more.

Hisoka had no motivation to go to work or to even get out of bed, so he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head, blocking out the light from the window.

He woke up later, and the first thing he noticed was that it was dark outside. He looked at the time and realized he was late to meet Muraki. He rolled out of bed and stood up, swaying for a second before shaking his head and reaching for his jacket. If it was just Muraki, there was no point in dressing up. He walked out the door and transported to Muraki's house.

Once again he walked to the door and was about to open it when someone on the other side pulled it away from him. Muraki said nothing, but Hisoka saw an evil glimmer in his eyes. Muraki reached out to Hisoka and grabbed his arm, roughly pulling him along behind him, through the office and up the stairs.

"Wait, stop it! Let go of me!" Hisoka struggled against the firm grip of the doctor, but was unsuccessful. Muraki didn't answer and instead pulled him into a room Hisoka had never been into. It kind of looked similar to the doctor's office downstairs, with a metal table and a hard backed wooden chair. Hisoka was thrown into the chair, and before he realized what was happening, Muraki had him strapped down.

"Not that you have any choice, my dear boy, but stay here while I go get the entertainment." Muraki walked out, a deadly smile on his face. Hisoka tested his bonds. The one on his left hand was a little looser, and he tried to squirm his way out of it. It seemed to be getting looser, but it was going to take a long time to remove without someone's help.

The door opened once again and Muraki was seen carrying someone without a shirt in his arms. At first, Hisoka thought it was a doll. Then the doll moaned and began to move around a little. Muraki laid the sleeping man on the cold metal table and also shackled him down. His head flopped to the side, and Hisoka gasped. Purple eyes opened to stare at Hisoka with shock. It was Tsuzuki, bound on the table with no escape.

"Muraki! What the hell is this? You said you would let Tsuzuki go!" Hisoka pulled against his bonds again but was unable to get out. Muraki smiled and stood behind Tsuzuki's head. Hisoka watched in horror as Muraki gently trailed a hand over Tsuzuki's jawline, pulling his face back to look him in the eye.

"Yes, I'm truly very sorry about that, Hisoka, but Mr. Tsuzuki here had other ideas. He practically begged me to take him back. And I did warn him..." Muraki leaned down and licked Tsuzuki's neck. He actually licked it. Hisoka thought it was disgusting, but Tsuzuki seemed to enjoy it.

"Since you seemed to enjoy hearing us so much the other night, I decided to give you a little present and let you watch. Don't make a sound though, or I may have to gag you." Hisoka glared at Muraki who ignored him and turned his attention back to Tsuzuki. He reached under the table and pulled out a metal tray.

"Hisoka! You get to decide in what order we will be using these tonight. Go ahead, pick one." Hisoka's eyes traveled over the array of objects. Among others, there was a knife, a nail gun, some barbed wire, and...A white rose? Muraki caught Hisoka's attention resting on the rose and smiled.

"Ah, yes. The rose is one of my personal favorites. So many different uses." He picked it up and delicately sniffed at it. He held it in front of Tsuzuki's face as well, commenting on the fact that it was nearly dead.

Muraki put on one white glove and gently held the rose with it. Then, he pressed the stem into Tsuzuki's chest, the thorns tearing into his flesh as he dragged it down.

"Stop! What are you doing, you crazy bastard?" Muraki looked around as if he had forgotten that Hisoka was there.

"Tsk Tsk. I thought we had a deal, Hisoka. You leave me no choice but to gag you now." Muraki walked over, holding a simple piece of black fabric. Hisoka turned away, refusing to open his mouth.

"Fine, I'll just tie it over your mouth." He grabbed a handful of Hisoka's hair and held him still, wrapping the cloth around his head and binding it tightly. Hisoka tried to speak but found his voice muffled. Muraki smiled at him then went back to Tsuzuki.

"Now, where were we?" Muraki noticed the wounds already healing on his chest and smirked.

"We can't have that, now can we?" Muraki once again dragged the thorns down Tsuzuki's skin, but this time before the cuts closed, he pulled off the rose petals and stuffed them inside his body. Tsuzuki screamed in agony as his body tried to heal over the foreign objects. Hisoka worked at his bonds, desperate to get free and save Tsuzuki. But Muraki leaned down and kissed him, cutting off his cries. To Hisoka's immense disgust, he saw Tsuzuki pressing his body closer to Muraki's. Tsuzuki docilely fell back onto the table as Muraki released him.

"Choose another one, Hisoka." Muraki watched Hisoka's eyes, but the boy refused to look at the tray.

"Okay, just remember, because you didn't choose anything, I will." and he picked up the nail gun.

"Did you know that the Christians believed that their savior was sentenced to death on a cross, and that he died to save them? What idiots. Who would want to save this weak, fragile, stupid human race? Do you know where this savior was nailed to his cross though? No? I'll show you." Muraki took the gun and positioned it at Tsuzuki's right hand, pulling the trigger to release a long silver nail right in the center of his palm. Tsuzuki tried to bite back his scream, but Muraki heard and licked his lips.

"Really, Asato, it's perfectly fine to scream. No one will bother us, and really, it's no fun if you don't scream." He rounded the table and impaled another nail into his left palm. Tsuzuki whimpered, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. Hisoka had been watching, horrified at the current proceedings, but snapped out of it at Tsuzuki's noise. He was almost free from his bonds and was glad Muraki was ignoring him.

"You know, they didn't actually get it quite right, those religions. You cannot hold someone up by putting nails in their hands. You see, if you were to put any pressure on these, the nails would simply slide right through the hand." Muraki began to pull on Tsuzki's arm, the nail firmly embedded in the table. Tsuzuki screamed and thrashed his head from side to side, trying to get away. Muraki stopped.

"So you see. They would have pinned him up here," Muraki shot a nail into Tsuzuki's wrist and walked over to the other one, "And here." he did the same thing, not letting Tsuzuki rest. Hisoka's left hand was free now and he was working furiously on his right.

"See! Now, when I pull on it, the bones in your wrist will stop it." he demonstrated, tugging sharply on Tsuzuki's arm again. Just as Tsuzuki let out another scream that sounded weaker than the others, Hisoka freed himself. He stood up and rushed at the doctor, reaching for the knife on his way. He stabbed Muraki in the lower back before he even realized what was happening. Muraki stood in surprise for a moment, then dropped to the ground, leaving Hisoka trembling behind him still holding the bloody knife. Tsuzuki's eyes cleared for a moment and he realized what Hisoka had done.

"No! Hisoka, how could you?" Tsuzuki ripped his arms off the table, splattering his blood all over the place as the nails were violently pulled through his skin. He fell off the table and cradled Muraki's head in his lap. Hisoka backed away, staring in disbelief at his partner.

"Go! Hisoka, get out! I have to save him!" Tsuzuki shouted. Hisoka shook at the anger rolling off of Tsuzuki. He turned and ran out the door, picking up his cell phone on the way and dialing Tatsumi.

"Hello?" Tatsumi answered his phone on the first ring. Hisoka was unable to answer, his body going into shock, his breathing hard.

"Kurosaki, is that you? What's wrong? Where are you, I'll come pick you up." Hisoka tool a deep breath and steadied himself against a wall. He rattled out the address and slumped down, hiding his head in his hands.

"I'll be right there. Just stay put." Tatsumi hung up and Hisoka set his phone down, shivering not at the cold wind but at the scene he had just witnessed.

Tsuzuki sat on the ground, pressing his hands to Muraki's wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He noticed Muraki trying to say something so he leaned down to listen.

"Asato. This is all your fault, you know. If you hadn't struggled so much, that poor boy would never have gotten free. It's your fault." With that, Muraki closed his eyes and stopped breathing.

"No! Kazutaka! No, come back!" Tsuzuki leaned down and listened for a pulse but there was none. He desperately kissed Muraki, forcing air into his lungs, but it was no use. He held Muraki in his arms, his tears finally falling, dripping down his cheeks and splashing on Muraki's lips. Tsuzuki licked his tears off of Muraki and sat there, eyes dry again, staring at the wall and running his hand through Muraki's silvery white hair.

When Tatsumi entered the room, he saw Tsuzuki muttering, "I'm sorry." over and over again, petting Muraki's head. Tatsumi slowly walked over to his former partner, knowing that he was in a dangerous place. Tsuzuki looked up and noticed Tatsumi. He smiled.

"You know, this is all my fault. He told me, it's all my fault that he died." Tsuzuki looked back down at Muraki, ignoring Tatsumi. The secretary cautiously closed the distance between them and reached for Tsuzuki, trying to pull him off of Muraki.

"No! Kazutaka!" Tsuzuki threw himself back on top of Muraki, burying his face in Muraki's rapidly cooling neck. Tatsumi picked him up, dragging him forcefully out of the building.

After a while, Tsuzuki gave up fighting, only muttering to himself, "It's my fault, all my fault." Tatsumi noticed Hisoka still sitting on the side of the road, trembling slightly.

Thankfully, Watari picked that moment to show up. Instead of beginning to babble like he normally would, the scientist took in the scene, nodded to Tatsumi, and knelt down next to Hisoka. Tatsumi teleported Tsuzuki back to his house, searching for the bandages and fixing him up. He didn't say anything, even while pulling the rose petals out from under Tsuzuki's skin.

When he was done, he say in a chair next to his bed without a word, wondering how Tsuzuki was going to come out of this. That damn Muraki knew exactly what to say to haunt Tsuzuki even from beyond the grave.

* * *

"I have to go see. I need to make sure." Hisoka had calmed down under Watari's calming ministrations. Watari helped him to stand and followed him back inside to stand in the doorway of the room. He saw Muraki laying there in a pool of his own blood, eyes closed, arms and legs spread out gracefully even in death.

"Do you want me to go examine him? I can make sure..." Watari offered to Hisoka. The boy shook his head and walked out. Watari took one last look at Muraki and thought he saw a finger twitch. He shook his head and looked closer. It must just be his imagination. He quickly followed Hisoka from the building.

* * *

**Thank you to all my fantastic readers! Oh, and Muraki wants to apologize for his blatant disregard of any respect for religion.**

**Muraki: No, I don't. Not really.**

**Me: Be nice!**

**Muraki: No. But I can't believe you killed me!**

**Me: Oh come on. You know you never stay dead for long.**

**Muraki: *smirk***


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again my beautiful readers! *dodges rock* Ok ok, I'm sorry! Please don't throw things at me! I'm having a really hard time with this plot right now, so please forgive the slowness... and all the scene changes... and the over all weirdness of this chapter. **

**On another note, if you don't like my stories, then don't read them. And if you must review and tell me that they suck, at least sign in. Don't be a coward. Yes, I'm talking to you, "this sucks" thanks for the wonderful review for secrets in the snow. It really made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Well then, please enjoy!**

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"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki sleepily blinked his eyes open, his gaze falling on the secretary nodding off in his chair. Tatsumi opened his eyes and smiled.

"How are you feeling? Let me check your wounds." Tsuzuki looked confused, then the memories of what had happened returned.

"Muraki! Is he...?" Tatsumi sadly shook his head. Whatever personal venom he felt for the doctor, he knew that in his own way Tsuzuki had loved him. Tsuzuki closed his eyes again, allowing Tatsumi to check his bandages.

"How long have I been asleep?" Tsuzuki asked after seeing that his wounds were mostly healed.

"It's been two days. Your body and mind are still recovering though, so you should try and get as much sleep as you can." He felt Tsuzuki's forehead, looking to see if he had a fever or anything.

"You can leave now, Tatsumi. I'm fine, really." Tsuzuki sat up and gave a fake smile that Tatsumi saw right through.

"You think I'm leaving you alone? No, I'll stay right here for now. Besides, it's the middle of the night." Tatsumi settled back into his chair and watched Tsuzuki as if daring him to say anything.

"At least go sleep on the couch. It's not good for you to stay there for so long." Tatsumi nodded and stood up, ignoring the twinge in his chest at being sent away. Normally, Tsuzuki would have invited him into bed with him, but Tatsumi was glad he didn't have to refuse Tsuzuki tonight. He wouldn't leave him though. He closed the door without looking back and went to make himself some tea.

Tsuzuki laid back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling. Finally, he closed his eyes again and fell back into a restless sleep.

"Asato... Asato... Asato!" Tsuzuki opened his eyes to see Muraki standing next to his bed, clothes freshly cleaned.

"Kazutaka? I thought..." Muraki stopped him mid sentence by laying down on top of him and covering his mouth with a kiss. Tsuzuki could feel tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks with the realization that Muraki was still alive.

"Asato, don't cry. You won't be without me for long. I promise I'll come for you." Muraki kissed Tsuzuki again, grinding his knee into Tsuzuki's hard erection to create a feeling of both pleasure and pain.

"Mm, Kazutaka..." Tsuzuki moaned, closing his eyes. Suddenly, Muraki was off of him. Tsuzuki opened his yes to see what was happening and saw Tatsumi poking his head into an empty room.

"Is everything all right? I heard you moaning in your sleep." Tatsumi caught sight of Tsuzuki's exposed lower body and frowned. Tsuzuki looked at him and smiled.

"He said he'd come back for me! Didn't you see him? Muraki was here just a moment ago, I'm sure of it." Tsuzuki looked around and seemed slightly confused when Muraki was nowhere to be found.

"Tsuzuki, I'm sorry, but it was just a dream. Go back to sleep." Tatsumi closed the door sadly. Tsuzuki however was convinced that it was not a dream, and he sat up in bed, waiting, for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Tatsumi came in to check on Tsuzuki. He quietly pulled back the covers to make sure Tsuzuki was healing correctly, but made no further move to wake him up. After such an ordeal, Tatsumi felt that it would be okay to let Tsuzuki have a day off work. Unfortunately Tatsumi could afford himself no such luxury and he hurried to dress for work.

* * *

Tatsumi walked into the office not expecting to see anyone, so was surprised when he saw Hisoka sitting calmly at his desk working on something in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Hisoka looked up, a bored look in his eyes.

"What? I do work here." Hisoka glanced back down at his paperwork. Watari suddenly walked in carrying two cups of tea. He saw Tatsumi and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I tried to keep him at home, but Bon here insisted on coming in." he handed the secretary the cup of tea probably meant for himself and the other one he placed on Hisoka's desk.

"Kurosaki, go home. You need to rest, your body and mind have obviously been through a lot recently." Hisoka shook his head but said nothing else.

"He's right you know." Watari added in his usual exuberant voice. Hisoka set down his pen slowly and took a deep breath.

"As I've already told Watari, I'm fine. The more days I stay out of work the more papers I'll have to sort through when I get back." Watari frowned and moved to put a hand on Hisoka's shoulder.

"I told you, I'm fine!" Hisoka slammed his fist down on the desk, surprising both of the older men. The two looked at each other and silently agreed to leave the boy alone for now. They walked out and Watari stopped Tatsumi before he could disappear into his office.

"Is he going to be all right? Hisoka I mean." Watari turned Tatsumi to face him.

"For now, we should just leave him be. If he needs to distract himself with work for now, I think we should allow him to settle it himself. We have worse things to deal with than a teen in denial."

"Speaking of worse things, where is Tsuzuki? Is someone with him?" Watari looked around Tatsumi as if expecting him to be hiding Tsuzuki somewhere behind him.

"I just left him sleeping. He'll be fine. I'll check on him later." Tatsumi tried to keep his voice unemotional and his eyes drifted to the left of Watari's head.

"You need to be with him. He needs someone supporting him right now. He needs to feel like he belongs." Watari reached up and firmly held Tatsumi's jaw, turning his face down so he could look Tatsumi in the eye.

"Go now. I can handle things here and we both know that Tsuzuki is unstable right now." Tatsumi pulled his head away and nodded.

"Well, see you later!" Watari bounced away and Tatsumi smiled at the blonde's ability to put on such a happy face amidst all this chaos.

* * *

Tsuzuki rolled over and groaned at his stiff muscles. He wanted to close his eyes again but couldn't shake the feeling that he should be doing something. He got up and stretched, looking at himself in the mirror and grinning. He pulled his shirt off, expecting to see the scars from last night. His eyes flew open in surprise. He stared at his chest and arms, appalled. Where there should have been angry red scars, there was only pale skin with the faintest trace of scratches. His wrists and hands had been bandaged as well.

_No! This can't be! If Muraki comes back for me he needs to know that Ive accepted my punishment. He'll need proof._ Tsuzuki was talking to himself, perhaps in his mind, perhaps out loud, he wasn't sure anymore. He walked to the kitchen looking desperately for something, anything, that could help him. He spotted the knife block and smiled to himself.

Reaching for the sharpest knife, Tsuzuki held it up to the light. He took it back to the bedroom and stood in front of the mirror tracing the healing cuts with his fingers. Someone, probably Tatsumi, had done an excellent job of bandaging him up and cleaning his wounds.

Tsuzuki took the knife and firmly pressed it into his chest, drawing it down the lines he had just traced. He could no longer tell if it hurt or not, but the feeling brought back memories of his nights with Muraki and Tsuzuki felt a tightening in his pants at the thought. He quickly finished drawing the lines on his body and dropped the knife, noticing for the first time the blood spatters on the floor. By now his erection was throbbing painfully, and he loosened his pants to relieve some of the pressure. He touched his wounds, feeling the slick blood coat his hands. He reached down into his pants and grasped his aching length, beginning to pump up and down.

"K- Kazutaka! Please!" Tsuzuki rocked his hips forward, reveling in the feeling. He felt his climax coming and released with a shudder, mixing the blood on the floor and his hands with his white semen. He felt the room begin to spin, saw black dots swimming in front of his vision. He closed his eyes and crashed to the floor.

* * *

Tatsumi walked in the front door of Tsuzuki's house, listening for any signs of movement. The house was silent and Tatsumi hurried back into the bedroom, searching for Tsuzuki. The door was closed, and he had a bad feeling about things. He gently knocked on the door, hoping that Tsuzuki was just asleep. When he received no answer, he slowly pushed on the door. Something was blocking it from opening all the way, and Tatsumi gave a hard shove, pushing something out of the way. He stepped in and looked down, his gaze falling on Tsuzuki lying on his back in a pool of blood. Tatsumi's eyes were drawn to the knife laying next to him and he stooped down to pick it up. He knew he should be worrying about Tsuzuki right now, but he was tired of dealing with him. He nudged the man passed out on the floor with his foot and was relieved when he groaned and turned over. He wasn't dead, which was a good thing. He carried the knife to the kitchen and left it in the sink. Tatsumi removed his suit jacket, not wanting to get blood on it, and laid it over a chair. He then reentered the bedroom and looked down at the sorry sight before him. Where was he supposed to put Tsuzuki? If he put him back on the bed, he'd just get the sheets dirty. The only choice was to dump him in the bath. He went to start the water running then went back to grab Tsuzuki. He gracelessly dumped him into the warm water and sat behind his head, holding his face out of the water.

"Hm? Tatsumi? What happened?" Tsuzuki finally opened his eyes after Tatsumi dunked him under the water.

"I believe you tried to kill yourself. Although with you it's quite hard to tell sometimes." Tatsumi had already cleaned Tsuzuki's wounds, so he helped the man out of the bath and handed him a towel.

"You need to take better care of yourself! I won't always be able to save you." Tatsumi said the last bit quietly so that Tsuzuki wasn't sure if he heard him right. Tatsumi led Tsuzuki out of the bathroom and was about to send him back to bed when he remember the blood stain on the carpet.

"Why don't we go back to my house. You must be bored cooped up here all alone all day." Tsuzuki nodded and the two men left quickly.

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**Sorry about the abrupt ending... If anyone has any ideas about where they want this story to go, let me know! I can always use brainstorms! Yes, to answer the questions I can already feel coming, Tsuzuki has gone completely crazy... and no, I don't know if Muraki is alive or not. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow... I just realized how long it's been since I last updated... I'm so sorry! But, good news everybody! My mother has finally decided I'm crazy enough to need a therapist, so my life is about to get very interesting! Oh, and I got a new computer! Yay! Yup, so, I still have no idea where this story is going, please enjoy this filler chapter and send me ideas for where you want this plot to lead!**

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Watari cautiously walked back into Hisoka's office. The boy was once again dutifully working at his papers and doing a very good job of ignoring Watari.

"Bon? Are you really okay?" He knew asking again wasn't going to get him any where, knew that Hisoka would just give him another fake answer, but he couldn't help himself from trying. He had never been good at dealing with people, computers just made more sense to him. Hisoka took a deep breath, set his pen down on the desk slowly, and folded his hands together.

"Really, I am. I mean, sure, it was an awful experience, but I'm sure there are worse things out there." He shrugged, brushing off the concern. Watari knew he shouldn't just drop it and accept such an answer, but he didn't know how to proceed.

"Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that?" Watari had been watching Hisoka's face the entire time and the boy had yet to meet his gaze. Hisoka looked up slowly, his blonde hair falling away from his face, piercing green eyes glaring at him. Under the cold exterior though, Watari saw a deep well of pain and sadness. There were dark circles under his eyes that suggested Hisoka hadn't been sleeping well.

"I'm fine. Please, I need to work." Hisoka spoke quietly and Watari nodded, standing up.

"I'll be down in my lab. Come see me if you need anything. Hisoka nodded in agreement and Watari left, disappointed with himself. When it really came down to it, he was a coward, always running away from people. He laughed ironically at himself and went down to continue the ongoing battle with his lab. It always seemed to get dirty somehow.

Hisoka let out the breath he had been holding. Finally, he was left alone again. Every time he had to smile or say he was fine just built up the pressure he was feeling in his chest and left him wanting to scream. He knew he was avoiding the problem, but he didn't really care anymore.

Tatsumi opened the door for Tsuzuki, motioning the man inside his house.

"Can I make you anything? Tea? Or are you hungry?" Tatsumi sat Tsuzuki down at the kitchen table and bustled around, putting the kettle on the stove for tea. When Tsuzuki didn't answer, Tatsumi turned around to look at him. He was staring out the window, watching the cherry blossoms fall off of the tree just outside Tatsumi's house.

"Oy, Tsuzuki! Have you eaten anything lately? I know you have amazing healing powers, but even you still need to eat." Tatsumi crossed the floor and lightly shook Tsuzuki by the shoulders.

"Oh, I'm fine." He smiled and in that smile Tatsumi saw nothing more than a childlike simplistic happiness. The Tsuzuki he knew was locked away in some dark place inside the man's thick head. Tatsumi let him be and started to re-heat the soup he had eaten for dinner a few days ago. He set the steaming bowl down in front of Tsuzuki and handed him a spoon.

"It's hot, be careful." Tatsumi walked away to clean up what little mess he had made while preparing the food, but quickly turned around when he heard a loud gasp of pain. Tsuzuki in his dazed state had taken a huge gulp of the hot liquid, presumably burning his tongue. Tatsumi sighed and got an ice cube out of the freezer. He knew he would heal fast, but it still had to be uncomfortable to have a burn on your tongue. He handed it to Tsuzuki and put another one in his bowl.

"I told you to be careful. Why don't you ever listen?" Tatsumi knew he was pretty much talking to himself by this point, but didn't really care. Tsuzuki nodded blankly and took another sip of soup.

"It's good, thanks, Tatsumi." Tsuzuki finished the bowl and sat there, once again staring out the window. Tatsumi knew how much effort it had taken on his part to say thank you and was glad Tsuzuki still had some presence of mind left.

"Are you tired again? Do you want to sleep some more? I think that would be the best thing for you now." Tsuzuki nodded in consent and Tatsumi led him into his bedroom. Tsuzuki crawled into bed looking for all the world like an adorable little child. Tatsumi was about to close the door when Tsuzuki called out to him.

"Tatsumi? Can you... stay?" He looked down nervously, as if waiting for a rejection. Tatsumi smiled kindly.

"Of course I will. Tsuzuki, you know I'll always be there for you." He went to sit on the bed next to Tsuzuki, who put his head in Tatsumi's lap and sighed. Tatsumi began running his hands through Tsuzuki's dark hair from habit over anything else, but soon found it relaxing for both him and Tsuzuki. Tatsumi watched as those purple eyes slowly drooped closed and as the perfect chest began moving at a steady, regular pace as his breathing slowed in the clutches of sleep.

"I love you, Tsuzuki." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and Tatsumi was grateful for Tsuzuki's ability to fall asleep quickly. He leaned his head back against the wall and continued stroking Tsuzuki's head. He didn't want to move lest he disturb the man sleeping on him, so he closed his own eyes, thinking to get a bit of rest himself.

It was dark when he opened his eyes again and a quick glance to the clock revealed it was three in the morning. Well, that's what you get when you go to sleep in the afternoon. Tsuzuki was still sleeping soundly and Tatsumi knew that if he just let him be the man could sleep forever, especially in his current state. He carefully moved Tsuzuki to the side and stood up to stretch. He knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep so he walked to the front room to grab some papers he was supposed to be going over. He turned his bedside lamp on and climbed back into bed after throwing on some more comfortable clothes. Tsuzuki noticed either the light or the change in pressure on the bed, but he groaned and rolled over closer to Tatsumi, pressing his face into the secretary's side. Tatsumi smiled to himself and started back in on his work.

Hours later, when the sky was starting to lighten again, Tsuzuki finally opened his eyes. He lay there for a moment, gazing up at Tatsumi who had yet to notice he was awake. At last, Tatsumi stretched and looked down to check on Tsuzuki.

"Good morning. How long have you been awake?" Tatsumi set his papers on the bedside table and put his glasses on top, rubbing his temples as if he had a headache.

"Not long. But I feel a lot better, thank you." Tatsumi handed Tsuzuki a glass of water he had gotten earlier that morning when he first woke up and Tsuzuki drank it gratefully.

"That's good. Do you want to do anything or are you happy here? I'm taking a little time off work." He paused as Tsuzuki looked pointedly at the stack of papers next to him. "Or, at least

I'm taking some time off going into the office. I thought this would be a good chance to take a little vacation." Tatsumi smiled.

"You mean you got stuck babysitting me again." Tsuzuki frowned and was probably going to say more, but Tatsumi shut him up with a glare.

"Don't ever say that. I am here of my own free will and don't you forget it!" Tsuzuki was a little shocked at Tatsumi's strong reaction, but he nodded in agreement.

"Okay then. Why don't we go get some breakfast? What do you say to some waffles, I know you like those." Tsuzuki nodded and Tatsumi went to go get dressed.

Watari finished yet another cup of coffee and looked down proudly at his latest potion. It was an energy potion and he took a big gulp of the bright yellow liquid, feeling it's effects immediately. Yet another night had been spent in his lab without much sleep. The day before he had continued to check in with Hisoka every hour or so, but the boy just waved him away and eventually his visits became less frequent. Watari looked at the clock. He received quite a shock when he realized it was already five in the morning. A thought crossed his mind. Had Hisoka gone home eventually? Watari rushed out of his lab and ran up the stairs, his new boost of energy helping tremendously. He quietly pushed open the door and saw Hisoka asleep at his desk, papers scattered everywhere. Well, at least he had gotten some sleep. He left him snoozing on the desk and retreated back downstairs, leaving his owl to keep and eye on the teen.

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**Please please please review! Thanks to the cool new traffic graph thingy, I know there are lots of people reading this! Unless, you know, it's just an accident you're clicking on this, which in that case means I only have about four readers... Oh well, that's life! *Author shamelessly using pity to get reviews* **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hola people! I think I did a better job of getting this out in a timely matter, wouldn't you say? Okay, I know I suck at time management, but I write faster if I get more reviews! Yeah, well, please enjoy this slightly creepy chapter... and leave lots of beautiful reviews! Thanks!**

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Hisoka opened his eyes when he heard Watari leave the office. 003 hooted quietly at him as if knowing something wasn't right. Hisoka knew he should get some sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to confront the nightmares that he was sure would plague him. He knew that by coming into work he was just causing more trouble for Watari and Tatsumi and everyone involved, but he just couldn't be alone. At least this way, he knew someone else was always either in the building or nearby.

He looked down at his page, the words not making any sense to him. They were blurred, unidentifiable. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It felt like a balloon was trying to burst its way out of his chest and before he realized it he was curled up in a ball in his chair, eyes closed, trying to shut out the world.

"You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you, poppet?" A barely audible whisper drifted through the air and invaded Hisoka's mind. His head snapped up, eyes flying wide open. Muraki was... alive? Here? Hisoka shook his head. It was just a sound conjured up by his tired mind. It had to be.

The sun was just beginning to come in through the windows, and he knew the office would soon begin to fill up. He went to the bathroom to clean up a bit for the day. He almost didn't recognize himself in the mirror. He took a step back and shuddered. He remembered the last time he had looked like this. It had been right before he died, when he was in the hospital with an 'incurable illness'. Dark heavy bags under his eyes, pale cheeks, glassy dead eyes. There wasn't much he could do about his face, but he fixed his hair and splashed his face with cold water, hoping to wake himself up a little bit. He knew he should go home and shower, or change clothes at least, but he couldn't stand the thought of being alone. He pulled back the edge of his sweater, looking at his neck. No curse marks had appeared yet, so Hisoka took that as a good sign. Perhaps Muraki really was dead. He could finally live or, well, whatever this was, without regret or the need for revenge.

It was getting to the warmer season and Hisoka wasn't looking forward to it. Really, it was already too warm for his sweater. Maybe he could take Watari's owl with him when he went home. She would provide some company at least. He cautiously poked his head out of the doorway and looked around, hoping not to run into anyone. The cost was clear and he quickly dodged out of the office after making sure 003 was following him. He transported home and unlocked the front door.

It had only been a few days since he'd been home, but the house already felt empty and desolate. He had time, so he took what was supposed to be a quick shower, letting the hot water roll over his body, cleansing him.

After a few minutes of simply standing under the hot jet though, Hisoka began to feel like the water was pelting him, attacking his body. The water droplets repeatedly hit the same places over and over again, leaving his skin red. He turned off the water quickly. Why did his mind continue to take him such places? He stood in the shower, shaking, feeling the hot steam slowly leave the room. The mirror finally cleared and Hisoka stared at himself. A skinny, underdeveloped teenager stared back at him, a sullen glare painted on his tired face. He sighed and got dressed, frowning as he realized he would have to do laundry soon. His bed was unmade, the blankets crumpled at the bottom of the bed. Hisoka pulled the covers up, straightening the sheets. His life would be that much simpler if everything was in place. When it was made, the bed looked so inviting that Hisoka couldn't help himself from laying down. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a bit... He laid on top of the covers and relaxed into the soft bed.  
_It is dark. There's a sound, maybe a fly buzzing against a lamp or a bird outside, but always a sound to keep Hisoka Kurosaki awake. He's laying in bed staring at the ceiling when he decides that some fresh air would do some good. The scene changes. A man dressed all in white is brutally stabbing some innocent woman. Hisoka runs, but the man sees him and chases, capturing him and pinning him down. Even though no one can hear him, he still screams. _

_"Now, what shall we do with such a pretty boy like you?" The deep seductive voice creeps around Hisoka, cradling him, eerily comforting as hands brutally rip off his clothes. Hisoka screams and sobs, begging for mercy, begging for compassion. The man flips Hisoka onto his back, pinning his arms above his head with one hand, eyes roving over the small trembling body. His free hand caresses the boy's side sending shivers of fear running down his back. _

_"Beautiful." The man above him whispers. His hand trails lower and suddenly Hisoka feels different. It's a feeling he's never experienced before._  
_This man is a murderer. He must continue to remind himself as those cold skilled hands force reactions out of his body. The man releases his arms, but they stay limply above his head. Hisoka no longer has the will or ability to move. His muscles have gone soft and compliant. _

_"You are mine, poppet. I will make you mine tonight." The man whispers into Hisoka's ear before biting the edge of it. Hisoka gasps, surprised mostly at the fact that it didn't hurt, that it felt... good. The man begins to remove his own clothes and Hisoka starts to worry again. He struggles, forcing his leaden muscles to move. He gets up, managing to stumble a few feet before tripping. That dark laugh is chasing him, finding him, piercing him. _

_The man catches him again and lays him gently down on the cold grass. When Hisoka tries again to get away, determined to fight to the end, the man grabs his hair and flips him face down, shoving the pale soft face into the dark ground. Then, without warning, the man violently thrusts himself into Hisoka's young unprepared body. The boy cries out in pain as the man continues to move, not giving him a chance to adjust. Hot, blinding pain as he feels his insides being stretched, knows he's bleeding, can't breath. The man above him moves once more inside of him and Hisoka feels himself being filled up. Suddenly, a searing pain starts all over his body as if burning metallic chains have bound him to the ground and are branding him. He screams again, though he knows no one will hear him. _

_"You have been reborn as mine tonight. Be my puppet, I will hold your strings and slowly seduce you to the final pleasure that is death." The man reaches for Hisoka's forehead and the boy makes one more effort to shrink away. The man smiles and firmly reaches out, placing a hand on his head. _

_"And now you will forget this. Enjoy your last three years of life, my dear boy. I look forward to meeting you in the future." Hisoka's eyes slide shut, their weight becoming too much to bear and he slumps over into the man's arms, fast asleep._

Hisoka's eyes flew open as he gasped for breath. He had known something like this must be coming, knew that having a nightmare was unavoidable after the traumatic experience he had been through, but that didn't help how he was feeling. He felt the curse marks stirring on his body, reminding him they were still there, though if they were just remnants of the dream he could not tell. It worried him. How was Muraki able to reach him through the grave? Why was his voice invading his head? Questions floated around his mind as Hisoka stood up and left his house. He didn't even bother looking in the mirror again because he already knew what he would find. The short sleep certainly wouldn't have refreshed him, in fact, he probably looked worse than when he arrived home. But that didn't matter. He had to be around people, had to know there were other warm life sparks out there.

He teleported back to the office and was greeted with a warm motherly hug from Wakaba. He smiled and brushed off her concern, but it still felt good to know that she cared, that anyone cared. Hisoka sat down at his desk again and picked up where he left off in his book, as he had finished his paperwork yesterday. Watari bounced into the room, looking as cheerful and full of energy as ever. When he spotted Hisoka, he skipped over to him and smiled.  
"Good morning, Bon!" He looked around for a moment as if Hisoka was hiding something.

"Where is she? My owl seems to have disappeared." Hisoka's eyes widened. Where had 003 gone? Had he accidently left her back at his house? Watari shrugged, probably thinking she'd turn up sooner or later, and left after making sure Hisoka was okay.

When he was sure the scientist was gone, Hisoka quickly transported back to his house, praying that the owl was there. He opened the front door and she came zooming out. He breathed a sigh of relief and carefully took her down onto his shoulder. What would happen if he lost Watari's owl? After all the kindness the scientist had shown him, it would be cruel. He transported back to the office and returned the owl to Watari with an apology for keeping her so long. Then, before Watari could ask any more awkward questions, he left, going back upstairs to read and escape reality.

* * *

**I dunno, what did you guys think? I hope the dream sequence was okay. I started writing in first person because I wanted Hisoka's point of view, but I think it turned out okay this way. Please, give me feedback! I can't become a better writer if I don't get critiqued! Constructive criticism is marvelous! **


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